Well, my cab driver from the airport to my hostel did, but it was a bit late by then. I could have bought myself a bottle of something at Manila Duty Free (you’re allowed to take one bottle of something into Brunei). Bugger.
Brunei isn’t exactly on the traveller trail, and after an hour’s stroll around the capital Bandar Seri Begawan I could see why. It’s a very, very quiet place. I guess this is what a world without booze looks like.
After fending off a particularly unconvincing transvestite offering me a massage - “Don’t worry, very cheap,” and I could see why - I checked into the KH Soon rest house. The guidebook had said it was “basic, airy and clean”, and it was certainly basic.
I took a quick evening stroll around the block, as I’m wont to do on first arriving somewhere, and saw this - the Omar Ali Sifuddien mosque. And to quote from the guidebook, “one of Asia’s finest”.
It’s not old, having been built in the 1950s, but it is very expensive. Very expensive. If there’s one thing the Bruneians aren’t short of it’s money. The carpets are from Belgium, the glass from England, the marble from Italy, the granite from Shanghai etc. You get the picture.
One of the things recommended to me by old Brunei hands (my Grandma) was a boat trip around the water village and the river, so I strolled down to the quay, haggled pathetically with a couple of touts and jumped into a long boat.
Although I’m sure I overpaid, one of the joys of travelling independently is that you’re not herded around in a big group like the other I saw waiting on the quay.
I smugly got into my own personal boat, eschewing the lifejacket - I’m a qualified sailor you know!- and we set off into the jungle.
My guide and driver kept their eyes peeled for the famous Bruneian Proboscis Monkeys.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proboscis_Monkey
I just sat slack-jawed as the mangroves, jungle and a crocodile slipping menacingly into the water (he was too quick to get a pic of I’m afraid) whizzed past. This was travelling!
Eventually we found a family of monkeys swinging through the branches at the edge of the river. I’d never heard of them before arriving in Brunei, but it was great to see them doing their thing in the wild.
Bandar began life as a kind of primitive Venice, with most of the residents living in huts on stilts. There are a few canals running through the modern city.
But the highlight is the Water Village itself,
which while at first glance looks primitive actually has its own firestation,
police station, electricity supply and many of the huts have satellite dishes. Well, this is Brunei after all!
I strolled back down to the riverbank for dinner that evening and had a fresh coconut with me noodles. Who needs wine when you’ve got coconuts!
I spent a couple of days in Bandar, mostly to do with Grandma Zena's grave, but I did check out the market before heading off for the Empire Hotel and Country Club.
The Empire is what some might call the folly of the Sultan’s brother Prince Jefri. He decided at some point that Brunei needed a world-class leisure venue and spared no expense in making it happen.
Obviously money wasn’t a problem and the place is truly impressive.
The only problem, from Prince Jefri’s point of view, is that noone ever bothers to visit. Whether because Brunei is dry or not I don’t know, but the place was spookily deserted.
From my point of view though, it meant I had a six-star resort all to myself. There wasn’t a soul around. And because noone ever comes here, it was cheap as chips. Brilliant.
Only having one full day here I decided to make it count, so got up early (yes early, I had a lot to do!) and headed to the private beach for a swim and sunbathe, which was of course empty.
Then it was back to the room for a quick shower and down to the Marine Centre for a bit of sailing. A qualified coastal skipper I may be, but I’ve never sailed a dinghy before in my life. I managed a whole hour of tacking out and around the bay and only capsized it as I was returning it to the centre. And then only because I was trying to pull the daggerboard up. Honest!
A spot of lunch and another shower later (you need three or four showers a day here as just walking from one building to the next is enough to have you dripping in sweat) and I picked up one of the resort’s buggies, which ferry guests around the town-sized resort, and went off to the empty golf course for a bit of driving practice.
I’m still hopeless.
After dinner in an empty restaurant,
I made use of the resort’s cinema, which of course I had to myself,
and watched the new Star Trek movie from the comfort of a leather armchair.
All in all a thoroughly satisfying day, thoroughly surreal, but satisfying nonetheless. And at only sixty quid a night I couldn’t really complain.
After the blue patch in Hong Kong, my time in Brunei had reinvigorated me - the luxury of The Empire, the jungle boat safari, but most of all visiting Zena - it felt good to be on the road. I am missing family and friends terribly, but the few days I spent in Brunei make it all worth while.
